Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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