We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
