shes about as inviting as chlamydia
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So vagazzling was a success
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
