oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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