he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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