worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
