she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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