You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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