i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize