Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
