White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
false alarm, still single
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