Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize