adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
