Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Pants are for mortals
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
