I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
