is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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