I bet he comes in French.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
