i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
