i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Green mimosas i think yes
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
