I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
