i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize