Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
