I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
