I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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