Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
