after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
