So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
