Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
