Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
