Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
