We won't sleep together?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
