Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
