You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
