handjob tips. give me some.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize