i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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