I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
