Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
