Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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