dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
