Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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