How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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