We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
