Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
