clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
