You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
