Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
