Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
