i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
