You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
