You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
oh god the rape fog is back!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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