WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize