Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize