I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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