why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
