life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
