i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize