So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
