so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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