Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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