Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
