dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
