One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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