I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
