question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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