that's an acceptable place to lick
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
