Sry I called you an 8
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
