she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
