You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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