It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
